I have never felt this way before...have you?

I want you, you see it in my eyes!
Alright...I won't sing my entire blog to you. Well, not today anyways.
We're off and rolling with bare. I LOVE this show!! Again, my blog is a little bit behind schedule. But here it is! Now you can follow my character analysis and my own perceptions of this beautiful show. And of course, you can become just as anxious as I am for bare's arrival for an audience. :)

We've blocked Act I and now are all panic stricken to memorize as quickly as possible, as to avoid Scott's wrath. Haha, he's terrifying when he scolds us. Totally just joking! But really, we're at the point now where the scripts are really preventing us from forming our characters. So my down time at work and on the weekends have been solely singing and reading bare. I think alot of us already knew the show before we even started rehearsals, so that's been helpful. Most of us were pretty familiar with the score and the story line, which for me is making memorizing far easier than it normally would. We're half way through blocking Act II now, as well. So the memorizing better get done fast! Since we'll be running the show from top to bottom soon. And all of our shenanigans on stage will ensue :)

Speaking of shenanigans...holy cow, I am so stinking excited about some of this blocking. First of all, I get to have stage sex for the first time ever. And I'm not just excited about it because I'm a pervie, haha. I'm really excited for it because it's going to be a brand new challenge for Jake and I both. One, we have to convince an audience that we're actually doin' it. Two, I have to reach somewhere inside of me that I've never had to reach before for any production. A place I, myself, rarely reach during my own personal life..
Ivy is seriously involved in Jason, whether he feels the same way or not. And as easy as stage sex may seem, it's actually a bit difficult. I will be completely vulnerable. And I will not be able to resort to being funny, like I usually can. The seriousness and the raw emotion behind it is going to be real, my friends. I am not one for sadness. I am not one to put my heartache on public display. I am not one for giving my heart up so easily for just anyone......and so it happens. Ivy and I can relate in so many aspects.
Dammit. I don't know why that always happens. Everytime I think I'm completely different from a character, it turns out I could be their twin.

I remember about 3 years ago, I was Ariel in Footloose. And I cannot tell you how completely uncomfortable I was trying to be "sexy." Oh my gawd, it killed me. I was a wreck after every rehearsal because I felt so incredibly exposed.
Now, that may seem absolutely ridiculous to alot of you who know me. Because I am quite affectionate and I am very confident in myself and my body. But for some reason, being sexy on stage just gave me the heebie-jeebies. Because I was forced to reach inside of my heart and grab the things that scared me most: vulnerability and seriousness. Which to this day, I struggle with constantly. I have a hard time confronting anyone about my emotional pain. I have a hard time telling a guy I actually like him (not the silly flirting, I mean the really telling him how you feel). I think most people like myself (self-proclaimed comedians) are actually terrified of letting people into our hearts. Most people who grow up using comedy as a tool, are actually afraid to do anything else. I heard in a movie once a man say, "If I can't laugh about it, I avoid it all together." And wow, that quote hit home. I can't tell you how many situations I've withdrawn from if I knew that I could potentially cry in front of someone. It's kinda sad actually...okay, pathetic would be better. But the human heart and our minds are tricky beasts sometimes. We all react differently to things and we all handle crisis in our own way. Like they say, we all mourn in different ways..but we all love the same.

So needless to say, this new challenge which I'm thrilled about! (the stage sex) is going to be hard. Not only to physically do all of that while singing, but also because it's going to strike a nerve in me that hasn't been struck in a long time. I won't just be dancing all sexy-like as when I was Ariel. I will now be the sexy-slut. A brand new character on my resume, but nothing I can't handle. :) and it's going to knock your socks off!

I told a friend the other day, I have never learned more about myself in any other situation than when I've been on stage. I really love it, actually. As uncomfortable as it makes me sometimes or as stressed out as I get over it, being Ivy is helping me overcome some of my own fears. As so many of my other roles have done.
Theatre is such a positive outlet for me. I'm so glad I've come this far with it.

I won't be alone, though. It helps knowing Jake has never done anything like this either. Which will make this process much less stressful. We can help each other, and I love when two actors have to pull together to make something work.

I absolutely love bare. I listen to it on my I-pod even when I'm not practicing on my own. It's on in my car continuously and I can't talk about anything else when I'm with my friends. I'm really excited for this one!

My fortune cookie today said: "Versatility is one of your outstanding traits." Hehehe, I think so!

Mark your calendars June 2nd thru the 25th. You won't wanna miss out on this show. <3

Adios Muchachos!

A little late..but here is my parting piece from Two Gentlemen of Verona!

What a fantastic show! And what fantastic energy! I love performing a piece of theatre and making it new each and every night. It's exciting to have that sensation of "this is it, guys!" but also to feel as if it's opening night. A show like Two Gents requires a fresh energy each performance. And we most certainly provided more than enough every single weekend!

Two Gents quickly rose to the top of the list of Favorite shows for myself and several of my friends. And really, I don't think it was just the show itself. (Anyone can read a script and sing the music in the score.) I think Two Gents was so successful because of our cast and our direction. New Line theatre changes an audience's perspective. Being in such an intimate and small venue, producing shows that have real-life situations and feelings, choosing productions that relay truth and diversity. It all plays a part in why New Line theatre won big with Two Gents and why every show put on there ends up captivating its crowd!

I am so blessed that I have been able to work with New Line. My love for theatre has only grown since I've been here and I've developed not only as a better performer but as a better individual. :)
I'm incredibly fortunate that I get to help New Line influence theatre goers' hearts and minds.

Two Gents, I love and miss you already. Wow, we had so much fun didn't we? I never thought I'd say it, but I kind of love being a man :)

Now on to bare. A brand new character for me to create and a role that is far different from myself...or so I think. I can't wait to find out! This one---you will not want to miss!

Then, thus, of many good I think us best!

I have alot of random thoughts today. Which is normally what my blogs consist of anyways! So here goes:

GREAT reviews for Two Gents! Wow, seriously! Awesome praise for our fantastic work! Way to be cast. We basically rule the planet now. Well, at least the realm of theatre in St. Louis anyways. :)
I love when the reviews come out. I get so anxious to read what our critics really think. Whether they liked it, loved it, or hated it. It's exciting to spread the news, whatever it may be. Reviews intrigue readers; they'll come check us out to make the final call on whether the critics were right or wrong. And nothing gets me more excited than a curious audience!
You must know, though. The critics are right. We are fantastic, we are terrific!!!
So thank you, theatre goers! For reading reviews, and wanting to experience our silliness with us on stage every weekend. And thank you, critics, for respecting and acknowledging great theatre!


I can't tell you how wonderful it is to hear that we accomplished our endeavors and effectively connected with our audiences this weekend. Thursday and Friday night were both great crowds! Especially Friday night's people. Man, they were so interactive!! Which makes performing a thousand times more invigorating. When an audience feeds off of our energy, we feed off of their's. And goodnesssssssss! It is such a sensation!
Saturday, however...was a little less vocal of their appreciation. Which, didn't affect our delicious performance at all!! We still gave them a perfect show! But I certainly didn't get my fix I needed that night (geeze, I am such a performance junkie). I sort of felt like I had just given a fabulous audition...and during my audition I got the stare down of, "why are you wasting my time." Man, I really hate that feeling. When ya walk in, sing your heart out and you just exude happiness and greatness. But then they look up from their papers, gawk at you a bit, then say, "Thank you, Terrie," and send me away. It's really discouraging.
Of course, Saturday night's audience did indeed love us and our show! And maybe they were so frozen solid that they couldn't physically laugh or coo. I know we were! and we were groovin' it up on stage. Don't think I didn't appreciate our audience. I did! I just didn't get that connection with them. And for me, that's what I most crave about performing. Reaching inside of the people's hearts and minds with song and dance. Haha, okay that sounds really cheesy. But it's for real!
Okay..I was at a party a few weeks ago. And I had so much fun, playing cards and dancing and reminiscing and so on. Well, my friend that I had shown up to the party with wasn't as enthralled as I was. So when we were driving home he said something along the lines of he wished that he hadn't of gone; he would've rather stayed at home to practice his guitar. My rebuttle was that I think it's important for people to spend time with each other, even if we want to be alone, it's necessary to have human interaction. It fuels something inside of us, it keeps us feeling. To be able to talk to and touch our friends was good for us. He said that was fine and dandy, but he needs alot of alone time to make really good music. Which, he does. So his argument seems justified. However...I explained to him that as an actor, it is very necessary for me to interact with other people. Constantly. There's plenty of alone time involved with creating characters, yes, but connection with real-life people is what makes our performances actually real.
You see, I feel that actors must try to experience everything they can possibly get their hands on. New food, new places, new styles, new music, a whole buncha things! We must be versatile. We must have open minds. And personally, I feel that connections with ALL different kinds of people help me the most in creating my characters. And the deeper the connection with people, the more I get out of the entire experience.
I've always been a "people-person." I love people; I hate people. I can't get enough of people. We're the most intricate, most ridiculous creatures. And I love how we function. I love our bodies, our minds, our perceptions, our science.
Theatre, I have found, is alot like psychology. Theatre has shown me alot about people. And much more about myself.

My point is...All of my relationships: Every random stranger that I've conversated with. Every person I've just observed from a distance. Every boyfriend I've had. Every friend that I've learned every nook and cranny of. My family. My friends' families. My teachers. My students. My neighbors. Every actor I see in a movie.
Everyone of them has broadened my knowledge of life, love, and living.
And to portray that on stage for an audience and for an audience to feel what I feel. Well....I can't tell you just how special that experience is for me. I need it to be happy. I need it to be the best performer I can be. I need it to be me.


So what this all boils down to is: LAUGH at us! BOO at us. Just do something to let us know that you, our audience, are involved in our madness. Or we'll have to take Lord Farquaad's approach in holding up signs that read: "Applause," "Giggle," "Awe." hahhaa, and that just isn't nearly as fun as letting you choose how to react to our production. :))



True Blood will be starting up again in a few months. And pools will be opening too. Smoothies will need to be made. Frisbee will need to be played. And bare will be premiering at New Line. :)))
Summer, Summer. I am most like you, dear season. Hot and refreshing...and sometimes, too much for people to handle ;)


Can I just remind you all of how much I love Two Gents. I mean, really! Can I say it anymore?! Probably. And I will.
I love Two Gentlemen of Verona. As will you.
come join our love train!

I must say, you do look familiar...

Holy Crap. Last night was SO GREAT!!!! What energy! Seriously, that was such a sensational performance. The audience was fantastic too! So fantastic. Which is always really great. To feed off of their energy is really intense. Becoming one with an audience and having this magnitude of ONE-ness...It's a really awesome feeling; it's unexplainable. You just need to know that it's exhilarating. And I live for that feeling! I think we all do, really. To love and to be loved. :)

Two Gents is the most exciting show I've ever been a part of. I mean really. Evita was so great, and I had a really personal connection to the show. But Two Gents has such an uplifting spirit in it. I absolutely love being onstage with this cast every night. And I am absolutely pumped to see what else this show has to offer. Every night something new happens, whether we intentionally make a change or not, we feel something new with each performance. We create new energy and serious funky groove. I love every minute of this experience. Goodness gracious, I love theatre.

Yesterday was also my 22nd birthday. And Two Gents was by far the best gift I could've gotten. :)
When you come see Two Gentlemen of Verona at New Line theatre be ready to get your socks rocked off. And be ready to get slim and sexy with all the laughing you'll be doing.

This feeling is all too familiar...and I couldn't be more thrilled!

Alas!!!

Alright, I think I've figured it out. Lucetta and I finally got some much needed counsel and we are going to be just fine! Haha, thank you Scott. I always try to remember that if I can't find the answer to my problem, I need to rephrase the question. You have done that for me! Now Lucetta and Julia have some new found perspective and can rock that stage til the break of day. :D

Also, reading Sparknotes has never helped me more than it has for this show. Really, I mean, it shared some good insight to Two Gents that I wasn't reading into by myself. It turns out, Shakespeare is kinda deep! But that doesn't mean we can't understand it. So, thank you Scott and Sparknotes for your guidance and 101 on Big Will. Now I can apply this insight to my performance and all will be awesome.

I really love the energy for this show. It's so big and so fun. And it makes me feel really groovy. Which, is the best feeling, of course! I'm not sure whether it's the show itself, or whether it's the people I get to work with everyday. But I am so happy every time I get to go to rehearsal. No matter how bad my day was at work, or how sick I feel, or how tired I am, or whatever else is going on in my life at the time; I get to New Line and nothing can bring me down. That's the kind of energy I'm talking about. We just feel good when we're all together. That's what I love about this theatre. It's what I love about the cast. It's what I love about Scott and Trish. We can have such a great time rehearsing, but still put on fantastic productions.
We can even party all night long with perfect strangers and still have a groovin' time. Thanks, Chuck Miller for throwing New Line that delicious event. I had quite a good time, and your wine was yummo!

Hell week begins in t-minus 5 days. But really, we shouldn't refer to it as hell-week. It's alot of fun! I love when a show finally starts to come together. When costumes, lights, mics, make-up, props, the band, the whole sha-bang is mixed together. Hell-week, honestly, is probably my favorite part of putting a show up. It's the point of no return. :)
and I like leaping without fear.

Let's do this already!
I am too stinkin' excited.

to plead for love deserves more fee than hate.

Alright, Lucetta. You cynical bitch, you. You had better start working with me or I'm going to smack your face. Okay, okay, okay..so it's not your fault per say. One day, I think I've got this down. And then the next..it's gone! Lucetta is starting to experience multiple-personality disorder. And she'd better get on some psych meds soon, because opening night is 12 days! :/
I need to be meaner. I need to be more of a teenager. I need to be consistent. I need to focus.....I need a drink.
Lucetta, I know we aren't that complicated. Now just work with me, lady!

The thing I am most gracious for in theatre is this. When you hit a rough spot and can't seem to get something right on stage, you think it is far too late to fix it and everyone will smell your crap from off stage. And then the production goes up, and you think "Oh, goodness. I'm about to blow up in flames." But suddenly, somewhere-somehow-someway, you put on this spectacular performance that you didn't think was going to happen. Muscle memory kicks in, and you stop thinking so hard. Lucetta, my bitchy egotistical twin...the theatre gods better have us in mind. Starting NOW!
Evita, for instance...we were not Latino enough for the longest time. We felt like we were being ridiculous, but it just wasn't coming through. Then, suddenly, out of no where! we were the sauciest, baddest, hottest Argentines the likes of this stage had ever seen. I have faith. Lucetta will arrive.
(if you tell yourself something over and over, it eventually becomes true.)


I auditioned for 55 theatres yesterday at freaking Midwestern theatre auditions.
Not a single call-back.
What did I gain? A day off of work.
What did I lose? Dignity.
Nothing a cold beer and a wonder wienie from the hot dog man can't fix.
I guess this is just destiny telling me it's time to start my band, Lucetta and the Betrayers. Time to buy that accordion patiently lurking in my shopping bag on Amazon.com and just do the darn thing already.



55 theatres...

To see what folly reigns in us!

Here we go again, friends! Two Gentlemen of Verona, the rock musical, is headed your way March 4-th thru the 26-th. And it is ridiculous fun, I assure you!!

This is first time I've ever actually performed Shakespeare. I was required to read it and analyze it all throughout school, but I really never found it that interesting and certainly didn't consider performing Shakespeare...until I saw Forbidden Planet at our's truly, New Line Theatre. What an influence you've been, Bad Boy of Musical Theatre. :) Needless to say, I've had way too much fun with this script. I am in no way uninterested with Shakespeare any longer, that's for sure! It's loud and obnoxious, and yet is has real content within. I'd say the script for Two Gents is pretty parallel to the personalities of its actors. :))

I play the role of Lucetta, Julia's handmaiden and partner in crime. She's irrationally carefree! Well, at least until Proteus screws over Julia and fires up her cynical-bitch mode. Lucetta is really an interesting character for me. The first few times of reading my script, I didn't feel any connection to her. I don't know what kind of booze I was drinking at the time to make me think that because it turns out Lucetta and I are incredibly alike. Haha, and I'm not sure how I feel about that yet!

Lucetta has such good intentions behind everything she does. She is a proud, loyal servant. She doesn't just work for Julia; she loves her like a best friend would. I really appreciate that about Lucetta. I think she understands love and believes it should be unconditional. There is a realness to her that I really relate to. Lucetta grasps love and its freedom, but she struggles with staying on the path of her own theories. I mean, she goes from telling Julia to love whomever she wants as long as she believes it's worth it- to telling Julia to abort an unborn baby just because Lucetta hates Proteus so much for what he did to Julia. Haha, she is really a ridiculous woman. But..I think that may have been Shakespeare's point..Lucetta is essentially Julia's guide to wisdom (poor Julia!). But Julia definitely transforms by the end of Two Gents, deciding to keep the rotten Proteus and his unborn child. And as angry as Lucetta may be about Julia's decision, she realizes that she was the one who encouraged Julia in the first place to be loving and carefree.

I think the entire purpose of Lucetta's change in disposition was to highlight that women may get frazzled in the pain and chaos of betrayal and deceit, but after it's all said and done women still have their heads on straight with open arms.

I really like that about Two Gents. I feel like there is so much reality in every scene. It's so real, you can feel it in your veins. Falling in love for the first time, being cheated on, doing the cheating, being banished, feeling lost and alone, forgiving, fighting, and finding your way after all the destruction. It's all there in Two Gents. And I think somewhere in the loudness you get distracted with funky-groovy music that you just can't help but dance to, and all that painful realness is lost. I only say that because it took me several weeks to figure out how much content was really there. I loved the music the first time I heard it and it made me feel so loose and happy. But I forgot about all the bad stuff that was going on in the story once the music started. Come to think of it...maybe that was done on purpose. I feel like the main point of Two Gents is that sometimes life is going to be a big meanie bitch, but that doesn't mean we can't still be happy. Like, anything can be made easier just by the way you take it. Hopefully you catch my drift.

I'm a little behind on the blogging of Two Gents. I wasn't sure if I wanted to or not..But here I am, allowing my fingers productive activity and making my thoughts available for debate. I love that music and theatre is interpretive. And everyone can have their own opinion.

So, in a nut-shell, I'm thoroughly enjoying the rehearsal process for Two Gents. I love goofin' off with my girl, Jeanitta! And everyone else in the cast. We're all so much fun. It's been a while since I've been in a comedy and I really miss it. I am such a silly person and I love getting any chance to share that with an audience. This show is going to be great! I cannot wait to see what kind of madness we can cook up.

Enough about Lucetta already! This is my blog. Which means, I can also discuss my vivacity. :)

I moved into my new apartment in January, which I'm quite excited about. It's been an interesting experience, living with a new roommate and getting settled into each other's likes and dislikes. We'll see how the year goes! I've also started a new job at Once Upon a Bash in Maplewood. I basically dress up as a chosen character for children's parties. I've been Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and Pinkalicious so far....and I'm feeling a little stereotyped! It's a fun job. When I'm not a character, I'm a party host at the store. And I lead kids in crafts, games, or karaoke. Depends on the party and how old the kids are. It's a fun job! I wasn't sure how I'd handle it; I'm not really a fan of little humans. But I am an actor! And they never know they difference. :D

I've been auditioning for other theatres: Stages, Midwestern Theatre Auditions, Muny. It's been a stressful process! And honestly, I'm really scared to see where I end up. I really love theatre. It does something for me personally. And I run into alot of people that don't feel the same way about theatre the way I do. I don't want to work somewhere that the people don't love theatre too. I don't do it for the paycheck. I don't do it for recognition. I'm just nervous I'll get stuck some place with big fake-o's who don't appreciate theatre for what it is.

Not only am I scared about whether theatre is the right route for my life, I'm scared that I still have no direction for it in general. I've just been living. Working, partying, dating, being adventurous. Ya know, the typical 21 year old's life. It's an interesting life I lead, no doubt. I'm in no rush, though. I'll just put my seat back and enjoy the scenery for now.

Live like there's no tomorrow, but believe you'll live forever.