I have never felt this way before...have you?

I want you, you see it in my eyes!
Alright...I won't sing my entire blog to you. Well, not today anyways.
We're off and rolling with bare. I LOVE this show!! Again, my blog is a little bit behind schedule. But here it is! Now you can follow my character analysis and my own perceptions of this beautiful show. And of course, you can become just as anxious as I am for bare's arrival for an audience. :)

We've blocked Act I and now are all panic stricken to memorize as quickly as possible, as to avoid Scott's wrath. Haha, he's terrifying when he scolds us. Totally just joking! But really, we're at the point now where the scripts are really preventing us from forming our characters. So my down time at work and on the weekends have been solely singing and reading bare. I think alot of us already knew the show before we even started rehearsals, so that's been helpful. Most of us were pretty familiar with the score and the story line, which for me is making memorizing far easier than it normally would. We're half way through blocking Act II now, as well. So the memorizing better get done fast! Since we'll be running the show from top to bottom soon. And all of our shenanigans on stage will ensue :)

Speaking of shenanigans...holy cow, I am so stinking excited about some of this blocking. First of all, I get to have stage sex for the first time ever. And I'm not just excited about it because I'm a pervie, haha. I'm really excited for it because it's going to be a brand new challenge for Jake and I both. One, we have to convince an audience that we're actually doin' it. Two, I have to reach somewhere inside of me that I've never had to reach before for any production. A place I, myself, rarely reach during my own personal life..
Ivy is seriously involved in Jason, whether he feels the same way or not. And as easy as stage sex may seem, it's actually a bit difficult. I will be completely vulnerable. And I will not be able to resort to being funny, like I usually can. The seriousness and the raw emotion behind it is going to be real, my friends. I am not one for sadness. I am not one to put my heartache on public display. I am not one for giving my heart up so easily for just anyone......and so it happens. Ivy and I can relate in so many aspects.
Dammit. I don't know why that always happens. Everytime I think I'm completely different from a character, it turns out I could be their twin.

I remember about 3 years ago, I was Ariel in Footloose. And I cannot tell you how completely uncomfortable I was trying to be "sexy." Oh my gawd, it killed me. I was a wreck after every rehearsal because I felt so incredibly exposed.
Now, that may seem absolutely ridiculous to alot of you who know me. Because I am quite affectionate and I am very confident in myself and my body. But for some reason, being sexy on stage just gave me the heebie-jeebies. Because I was forced to reach inside of my heart and grab the things that scared me most: vulnerability and seriousness. Which to this day, I struggle with constantly. I have a hard time confronting anyone about my emotional pain. I have a hard time telling a guy I actually like him (not the silly flirting, I mean the really telling him how you feel). I think most people like myself (self-proclaimed comedians) are actually terrified of letting people into our hearts. Most people who grow up using comedy as a tool, are actually afraid to do anything else. I heard in a movie once a man say, "If I can't laugh about it, I avoid it all together." And wow, that quote hit home. I can't tell you how many situations I've withdrawn from if I knew that I could potentially cry in front of someone. It's kinda sad actually...okay, pathetic would be better. But the human heart and our minds are tricky beasts sometimes. We all react differently to things and we all handle crisis in our own way. Like they say, we all mourn in different ways..but we all love the same.

So needless to say, this new challenge which I'm thrilled about! (the stage sex) is going to be hard. Not only to physically do all of that while singing, but also because it's going to strike a nerve in me that hasn't been struck in a long time. I won't just be dancing all sexy-like as when I was Ariel. I will now be the sexy-slut. A brand new character on my resume, but nothing I can't handle. :) and it's going to knock your socks off!

I told a friend the other day, I have never learned more about myself in any other situation than when I've been on stage. I really love it, actually. As uncomfortable as it makes me sometimes or as stressed out as I get over it, being Ivy is helping me overcome some of my own fears. As so many of my other roles have done.
Theatre is such a positive outlet for me. I'm so glad I've come this far with it.

I won't be alone, though. It helps knowing Jake has never done anything like this either. Which will make this process much less stressful. We can help each other, and I love when two actors have to pull together to make something work.

I absolutely love bare. I listen to it on my I-pod even when I'm not practicing on my own. It's on in my car continuously and I can't talk about anything else when I'm with my friends. I'm really excited for this one!

My fortune cookie today said: "Versatility is one of your outstanding traits." Hehehe, I think so!

Mark your calendars June 2nd thru the 25th. You won't wanna miss out on this show. <3